Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Not So Big Life

Twice a year my church does a congregational book study. The winter book is The Not So Big Life by Sarah Susanka. Last night she came to talk to us and it was enlightening and inspiring.

My Thursday night girls are reading it too. Last week we discussed the first two chapters. One of the exercises was to do the following (my wording without going back to the book):

1. Significant objects: Write down significant people, objects and places in your past.
2. Significant moments: Think of times when something important happened in your life, something that may have been life changing.

My interpretation of why she asks us to do this is two fold. We need to access the things that made us happy in the past, reconnect with them, uncover them from the layers of crap we call being grown-up. And we need to think about what our frame of mind was when we had a life changing or more-than-coincidental occurence.

One of the objects that I wrote about was the wooded area that surrounded our neighborhood. We used to pack food and go into the woods for hours. Although I wasn't a tomboy and didn't like to get dirty, I did get a thrill out of the hint of danger that skirted our play - picking up giant bullfrogs, getting wet when we knew we weren't supposed to, walking across creeks on mostly rotted trees that had fallen, being out of sight of "civilization" and adults. I'm not sure how to bring this forward to my present day life in order to make positive change. Hint of danger? Freedom? Bucking the rules?

Most of the significant moments that I could think of were recent. I think that's because I have recently become open to the idea that if I just quit trying to control my life things will go a lot more smoothly. I am reminded just about every day of the AA admonition to "Let go and let God" and of the book we did called "Get Out of Your Own Way" but DOING this is very hard for me. I have set it as a goal for this month to relinquish my tight-fisted hold on my future and just see what the Universe will do.

It's a start.

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