Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Final answer

We have arrived at the end of negotiating with the choir director and he is not coming. I'm amazed that when my minister told me yesterday, I only felt tired of dealing with it. He has gone back and forth--he came within a hair's breadth of signing the contract, reneged then called a few hours later to say yes, underwent a "dark night of the soul" and gave us a letter of intent at the end of it. Finally he emailed the minister, saying in so many words he cannot do it because he believes in Christ and we don't.

I can understand how someone who takes the Bible literally might have a little trouble with our familiarity with Christ. We don't celebrate the sacraments, and although we are a Christian church we don't proselytize or turn away anyone who comes in our door looking for acceptance. We do read from the Bible, practice unconditional love as much as humanly possible, forgive, pray, meditate, and do outreach. We do not judge or expect punishment for our human frailties. We believe that within each of us is the good of God.

Many weeks ago, when I found the man on the Internet, I was sure that there was a reason that we came together. At the time, I thought that we were going to hire him to be our music director and he was going to do great things musically and spiritually with our choir. I continued to stress to him through his doubts and wavering that there was something, something I couldn't explain, that had led him to us.

He moved me and many others with his beautiful, soul-ful music. He cried and laughed with us; he was a real presence at our services. But I am resigned finally that he did not come into our lives to be our music director. Rather, I think we came into his life to solidify his belief in Christ. The Christ of his childhood. The Baptist Christ that loves him and forgives him though he feels like a sinner. The Christ who was born of a Virgin and rose from the dead. It isn't my Christ, but I allow him his beliefs, and I hope he has left us a man with a strong faith, love of God, and his incredible music.


MitMoi said...

Accepting and believing it's acceptable are two different things, aren't they?

I started to write, "sorry he's not coming to you guys." but it truth, you wouldn't want to deal with that anguish on a daily basis. Nor have him face it each day.

xxx - the right musician is out there, I just know it!

mamie said...

Mit, the writing was on the wall from the very beginning, but I was so tuned in to my interpretation of the chance meeting that I was willing to ignore his anguish. He would have never been totally at home with us. I do wish he had moved out of the way sooner, so that we could be well on our way to finding the person who is out there waiting for us. Thanks for affirming this.

G Liz said...

Mamie, I know you are beyond exhausted and disappointed. But like Mit, I believe the right music director is out there for your church.

I love you!

mamie said...

Gina, thanks for the good words. Hold that thought of a good person coming our way. I love you too!

trisha said...

Cult? Please.

mamie said...

That's what he said, gurfrin!