Friday, February 27, 2009

Giving and Receiving (and Thanking)

[The precious friend in this photo is not mentioned in this post, but I conveniently had this fabulous photo of her opening presents.]

I am not a stickler for receiving thank you notes, or writing them for that matter, although I do write many cards to people. I don't always send a note to say thanks if I've looked the person in the eye and told them how meaningful their gift was to me.

But in the case of wedding gifts, hosting a party for the honorees, and baby shower gifts, I get really irritated when I don't get a note from the person. This has happened to me a couple of times--expensive presents, very nice party, more expensive presents--not even a phone call or verbal thanks. Nothing.

Frankly, if I hadn't written thank you notes for my wedding presents thirty years ago, I would still feel guilty. And Miss Manners says I am not supposed to think about the thanks, but the joy I got from giving. Or something like that.

I've thought of sending something anonymously with a collage of thank you notes from the Paper Source catalog that says, "Forget something?" I've thought of asking the girls in person if they've been overwhelmed and running behind for the past two years. But my greatest inclination is to never give them another gift. Ever.

What I'd really like to do is post their names here, sort of a public humiliation. Instead, I'm going to publish this post and try to put it behind me. But first, let me say this: SHAME, SHAME.

Okay. I'm done.


Allie said...

Forgive me Mamie...for I have sinned...

I can recall when I got married that there were a few thank you notes that I didn't send out. Most of them were sent, but there were a few straglers that didn't, for whatever reason.

I know it was wrong, and I'm really sorry about it...

*puppy dog eyes*

I hope you, as a giver, can forgive me!!

(P.S. - Thank You!!)

mamie said...

As a symbolic gesture, in order to release and let go, I FORGIVE YOU, ALLIE. But let me add that at least you tried....

trisha said...

I love giving. All kinds of occasions and non-occasions. I do get pissed, seriously pissed, when there is no thank you and that happens more frequently than not.

I adore giving thanks to someone who takes the time, energy and/or money to think of me with a gift, small or large. It's the very very least I can do to say I appreciate being loved.

Take that, in-laws, friends and others of an ungenerous bent for giving thanks, that's what I think of you. Take 10 whole minutes to jot a note, pick up the phone, shoot an email. We'll both be glad you did.

mamie said...

Trisha, as the recipient of your extremely thoughtful gifts, I can say that they are always deserving of the utmost gratitude.