Funk

I have never, ever minded a birthday. I will celebrate from the first day of the month until the last day. At my age, I've always felt you get a birthmonth, not a birthday. I will plan a birthday party for myself in a heartbeat. In other words, I'm not usually self-conscious about my age or my aging.

This year, though, I am not so excited. And I think it all has to do with my thing for numbers. My birthday number feels odd and old and undesirable.

"Ugh," as my youngest daughter would say.

Promoting A Beautiful Thing

Please visit Miel and Milk and see the exciting and fabulous jewelry my youngest daughter is making.

And the beautiful thing I'm promoting? Why, my daughter of course.

Then and Now

Okay, so I didn't have to walk to school in the snow, uphill both ways (although I did walk to school every day), but a couple of things I've done this weekend remind me of how things have changed.

Last night I was cleaning out a cabinet and found bank statements from 1989. That year my children were 4, 6, and 8. I worked (as I do now) for my husband. In a typical week this is what I spent:

Food: $75
Pizza: $15
Laundry: $20
Babysitter: $12-15 (We went out every Wednesday night for at least three hours!!)

We had an account at Avery Upchurch Exxon and the monthly gas bill was $150. This was, I'm sure, not self-service but full service for two cars.

Quite different now. Our grocery bill, with just the two of us, will run in the $75 range. Cleaning has doubled as has pizza. And gas? It could vary from week to week, but full service at the Exxon would be at least four times the '89 prices. If we could justify it!

The second thing I discovered is how far the internet has come. For over ten years I have led a discussion group at Quail Ridge Books (except for a year when someone else took over). In 1999 we discussed a book called, Celestial Omnibus: Short Fiction on Faith. It is an excellent collection of short stories by well-known authors. Next week we will begin discussing this book again. In 1999, what I found on the internet about the authors was mostly biographical information, lists of publications, and book reviews. This morning I re-read the first section (feeling that thrill over the writing once more). On the internet I found discussion questions for every one of the stories! Boy, my job just got easier!

And now I'm wondering what will seem outdated and inexpensive when I look back on 2009 in 2019. 2019. Wow.

Counter

For some reason my site counter quit working and I can't seem to get it going again. After thinking about it, though, I decided to leave it off. This may seem silly, but I hated visiting my own blog because it artificially ran up the counter, and you know how I love to crack myself up, look at my photos, and read my own writing....


Full moon tonight - I'm howling!

Sky

I almost wrecked my car today on a very busy city street to capture this photo of another rainbow. Three rainbows in two days? How often does that happen?



And my friend Billie posted about the strange-looking sky yesterday. Here's what I saw:



A couple of good conversations and two good back-to-back meetings and I'm feeling better than last night. Thanks for listening.

Rainbow

Tonight on my way home from work I was on the phone with one of my daughters when I saw a beautiful rainbow in my side mirror. I pulled off the road to enjoy it for a minute. An hour or so later, after going home, I was driving to church for a meeting, again talking on the phone to the same daughter, and saw two more rainbows.

These were brilliantly colorful, and the second appeared to be two halves of the same enormous arc. I felt buoyed by having seen them.

My meeting was about the music at church and several minutes after I arrived, the minister stated that they were getting ready to make me very unhappy.

"I've seen three rainbows today. Nothing can make me feel bad."

Then he told me that I was going to have to cancel one of my favorite Sunday performers so that the children could sing that Sunday. I tried negotiating to have him sing at the early service, but they had already discussed it and decided not to.

Now this favorite Sunday performer happens to be the choir director that we tried to hire last year. You remember? The one we worked with for almost nine months and in the end he decided not to come? I'm sick about having to cancel him.

I've done some reading about rainbows tonight and they symbolize differences being blended together harmoniously. This is not at all what happened to me after seeing them. I felt angry the whole meeting, and found myself being combative with the person whose decision this was to have the children sing. There was more manipulation and power struggling over the course of the meeting, and now I'm really feeling pissy about continuing to participate in organizing the music.

Actually, I often wonder why I even go to church. Inevitably people exert pressure and influence and power in negative ways, money becomes God, people hurt other people in the name of righteousness, messages become stale, mere words become truth.

Tonight, I feel like my Sunday mornings (and Wednesday nights too) would be better spent enjoying a gospel CD and a good book and leaving it at that.

Didn't I just get there fast?

Today on my way to work I stopped at a stop light, leaving room where the sign said "Do Not Block Intersection" and practicing Car Zen. Right before the light turned green, a car pulled in front of me, jerking me out of my reverie and blocking the intersection. I honked my horn at him and gave him disgusted looks. I'm sure he couldn't see me; it was raining.

One block later, we're both stopped at a red light. He's right in front of me. "Didn't you just get there fast??" I ask out loud. He can't hear me. Our windows are up because it's raining. Stupid driver. I honk just for meanness.

As soon as possible, I speed by His Idiocy. He honks his horn at me. I have decided just what kind of person he is from reading his bumper stickers ("Stop Hunger Now" and "Support Our Troops") and he's a moron. A compassionate moron, but a moron nonetheless.

I speed past him, smiling smugly to myself as he fades into the mist in my rear-view mirror. Guess who ends up right behind me at the next red light? Yep, Mr. Tortoise to my Hare. Now didn't I just get there fast? I honk my horn which is lost on the idiot behind me, but annoys the hell out of the car in front of me.

Zen car. Pass it on.

Three's a Crowd

I am not a committee person. In fact, large-group decision making is one of my worst nightmares.

I am the Sunday Service coordinator for my church. This means that I make a chart each quarter showing all the lay and musical participants. My responsibility to the service is selecting congregational songs, booking outside performers, and scheduling the person who makes announcements each Sunday. The other person involved in this, up until this quarter, was the musical director. Two people. Not a committee. It has been so easy.

Now another person (I admit I complained about our lack of song choices and said okay) wants to take over part of the song scheduling. Three people=committee. And at this point the third person doesn't make hasty decisions. Three people=committee with weak link=one of my worst nightmares. Putting out a half-assed schedule is another of my bad dreams. But today, since it's already one Sunday into the quarter, I had to send it out. Red type, pink type, blue type indicating what needed to be done by whom. The chart was at least 1/2 colored type.

The phrase, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going" is taking on a whole new meaning for me right now.

New Year, Day 3 (in pictures)

New Year, Day 2

All day I have seen people running, walking, biking. "New Year's Resolution, Day 2" is what I've thought each time.

It's probably pretty easy to keep a new exercise regime while on vacation, as most of these people are. I'm wondering how far they will get into a year where work, children, housecleaning, meetings, etc etc take priority. I'm pulling for them, though, and know the value of keeping a commitment to oneself.

I, on the other hand, made no resolutions, so I contented myself with photographing the flora and fauna of Bald Head.





I also took a three-hour nap. Maybe I should resolve...no, never mind.

Resolved, Part 2

The two major changes I made in my life, the decision to quit drinking three years ago and the decision to quit smoking two years ago, were begun in November of the year. I'm not much one to resolve in January because I know that the failure rate of these rosy resolutions is high.

When I made the two changes, I looked forward to the day that I had been sober/non-smoking for an extended period of time. I wanted success to be long-term. And now it is. Although I still wouldn't trust myself with a pack of cigarettes and a martini in a room alone for more than five minutes, I have a degree of confidence in my ability to continue saying no.

Last month, I decided to start going to the gym at least three times a week. I have done this, and actually like the routine of the elliptical machine and using the weights. But I'm finding myself wishing the same thing as when I quit the booze and cigs: I wish it had been longer since I started. I wish I had lost some weight and that my arms were less flabby, my knees capable of pulling me up without holding on to something. I'm impatient to see results and to feel confident about my ability to sustain my efforts.

When I am facing a difficult situation--surgery or dental work, for example--I often get through it by saying, "In a few hours/days/weeks you will be looking back on this. It will have already happened. It will be over." I want to apply this same thought process to going to the gym, using the successes of the past: "In one year, you will have been going to the gym for a year. You will feel strong and fit, proud of the effort you made to do so."

It's going to be a happy new year, friends and family. Here's to 2009--year of promise, year of peace and personal success. Take my hand, let's sally forth!

Resolved

Peggy Payne is asking for your bold resolve - go weigh in, put in it writing, make a public commitment!

Jonathan Cainer, an astrologer I follow, says this today:

"Tomorrow night brings the awkward convergence of an earthly tradition and a cosmic apparition. Normally, New Year's Eves come and go without too much fuss. We celebrate. We sing. We make our resolutions then we carry on. But what if some heavenly force were secretly listening in to our every vow, offering full celestial support in ensuring those promises were completely carried out? Tomorrow night, Saturn turns stationary. Such conditions favour those who wish to make a decision and 'cast it in concrete' so that it can never be changed. Be very careful not to make a 'negative' resolution."

Consider your bold resolve carefully.

Stand By Me

Last night my husband's gospel band performed at church. One of the tunes they did was "Stand By Me" and the audience was very moved by this old Ben E King song. I feel so fervently that we have to tend to those who are afraid or hungry or homeless, war-weary, mourning, loveless and alone, lost in the many, many ways people can become lost these days.

Tonight, one of the band members sent this video and I realize that people around the world feel the words of this song are so meaningful too.

So watch, and think about how we will reach out in the new year to stand by our neighbors who live close by in our cities and far away in other parts of the world. We are one people.

Thematic Photography: Quiet

I was riding my bike around Oriental this weekend and came upon this scene in the harbor. Although there may have been noises in the background, the view brought on internal serenity and quiet for me. I have it on my desktop, and keep closing all the programs so I can look at it. It makes me feel almost as calm as...well, as a stop light!!

Post your photos on Carmi's theme of Quiet on your blog. We could all use a little quiet right now.

Doing my Part to Make Merry

Does anyone else feel as though there are fewer Christmas cards this year? I'm writing mine today. This is one of my favorite parts of Christmas (I love to write letters), and I'm sending Robert Sabuda pop-ups, handmades, and KOCO NY cards.

Zen Car

I read somewhere recently that if you will do a thing three times it will become a habit. This article (I wish I could find it to quote it correctly) was suggesting that we wake up each morning and make a statement along the lines of, "I am willing to be happy today."

Several months ago I told you that I was no longer listening to talk radio in the car. Instead I play only meditation music. After doing this for a while, I stopped thinking, "Oh, I need to turn on NPR." But it took a while.

Then I started sitting still at stop lights, taking my hands off the steering wheel and resting them in my lap. This felt calming.

My next step was to say, "A red light. Now I can relax for a few seconds." I began to look at stop lights in a new way, as a chance to slow down.

And it's a habit. Engrained in my brain. I see a red light, I feel glad, and I sit quietly for the duration of it.

I'm still an agitated driver. I will stare down a single person in an Suburban, mouthing, "Yeah, you really needed to drive that hulking gas-guzzler all by yourself to work today."

I get irritated at people who walk or ride their bikes on the wrong side of the road, who cross through traffic, who let other cars out inappropriately or at the risk of the drivers involved.

But I have changed the habit of being angry at red lights, no longer seeing them as an obstacle or annoyance. And that's a good habit.

One week later...

I know, I've been bad. And I hope you've missed me.

This weekend I went on the now annual trip to march in the Oriental Spirit of Christmas parade with seven of my friends. Here we are in line for the parade. It was freezing, but when you're dancing and "playing" music, you stay warm. And being embarrassed about making a fool of yourself helps keep the body temperature up.



NAUGHTY:



NICE:



The first night, this was on my right at the river:



And incredibly, this was on my left:



During the day the sun was shining and I got to ride my bike a little. I felt very nostalgic for the sleepy little town where you can ride in the middle of the street at all hours of the day and night.



There was a lot of cosmic energy over the three days we were there. Full moon, celestial cross, the date of 12/12, and coincidences involving numbers over and over.

It's always good to get home though.

Thematic Photography: Shadows

A few more for Carmi's theme this week.

Thematic Photography: Shadows

Carmi's Theme this week is "Shadows" and I'm a shadow-holic. I don't usually try as he did to capture the object which is being shadowed in the photo. Here are my pix picks:






Maybe more later in the week.

Getting to know People

This past weekend we drove to Bald Head, planning to stay until Sunday. It turned out to be cold-ish and rainy, not all that fun after about five hours of reading, playing computer, and eating. We headed home on Saturday.

When we got to the marina on Friday afternoon, several of our friends were anchored across the marina. Most of them I knew, but there was one couple that I didn't know. Within five minutes, this is what I knew about the man:

1. He grew up in Greensboro, graduating from Grimsley High School.
2. We are the same age, and went to the same elementary school.
3. He grew up on the street that I first lived on as a baby.
4. His mother died last week. She had had a stroke which left her unable to move. All of her children were there when she died; she waited for the son from California to get there, then died within hours.
5. He had three brothers. They graduated from high school in Raleigh because his family moved after he graduated from high school.
7. He went to the University of Tennessee, lived there for twenty years, then moved to Southport in 1996.

Last night we went to see BB King at the new Durham Performing Arts Center. A beautiful building! There was a man I didn't know sitting beside me. Within five minutes, this is what I knew about him:

1. He grew up in Greensboro, graduated from high school in 1960.
2. He has lived Charlotte and Raleigh.
3. Now he lives in Durham and commutes to Raleigh. He likes this because he travels against the traffic both ways.
4. He is in the construction business.
5. At one point he owned George W. Kane Construction Company because he was hired to come in and help the company get back on its feet.
6. The woman he was with is his second wife, but he's still friendly with his first wife who lives in Greensboro.
7. He has no blood relatives in Greensboro.

I am amazed at how much you can learn about people if you just keep asking questions.